April 2012
“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are...”
– Lao Tzu (via thorbjork)
How to tell the difference between different...
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
paxamericana:
joemccarthyblues:
somepolitics:
Why would you own a gun other than to kill someone?
So you can marvel at how destructive it is?
Please.
Target shooting. It’s a fun hobby.
Yeah, guns are awesome and target shooting rules. Now, if you’re the kind of person that needs to have a gun on you at all times because you’re terrified of minorities, that’s another topic. I’ve never...
1 tag
“I think that all writing is useful for honing writing skills. I think you get...”
– Neil Gaiman on fanfiction (via wibblywobblyotp)
BECAUSE THIS.
(via mycroftsmindtardis)
Neil Gaiman. Just wrote Smeagol/Gollum slash. Your argument is invalid.
(via roane72)
NEIL HOLU SHIT
(via weeaboo-chan)
1 tag
These are great →
randomactsofchaos:
drinkthe-koolaid:
Bank of America has a new PR campaign inviting people to come up with a new slogan for the company. Click through, and be entertained.
The best thing ever.
richwhitelesbian:
rather than discuss hard issues and form an opinion through individual research i’d prefer to mock both sides and wallow in my own mental shit
2012 / NEW MUSIC
thebloodybeetrootsofficial:
Let’s say…JUNE for a new SINGLE ! Sir Bob
